Saudade

Saudade:
a Portuguese and Galician word for a feeling of nostagic longing for something or someone that one was fond of and which has been lost. It often carries a fatalist tone and a repressed knowledge that the object of longing might never really return. It was once described as "the love that remains" or "the love that stays" after someone is gone. (source)

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Preethi had to leave back to India as her Postgraduate Visa was due. She first arrived in Uk three years ago to study a Master's degree. She did her Master's and at the same time she created a whole new life here..friends, job, appartment.

Have you ever experienced the departure of someone special for you?

Nadia left,as well, two years ago. She decided to go back to Jordan not because of Visa requirements (she is half Brittish anyways), but because she wanted to go back where she was born. She, too, left a whole life (12 years) and had to start all over... new friends, job, house.

It is always hard, isn't it?

One of the most difficult processes one has to pass is to say goodbye to a very good friend. And it is hard for both the person who leaves and the one who stays back. The hardest part is not that specific moment of 'goodbye' that can be easily faked behind a 'statuesque' smile. It's the conceptualisation that nothing will be the same again..and this is a whole process. Allow me to explain...


It happens that when you meet these special for you people, your life changes. Have you noticed?! :) The quality of life changes, it improves! Prior to meeting them, you were leaving a nice life and you were quite happy...but afterwards, you realise that your life was not as good as it is now. The important, here, is that you realise that when these people will not be there in you life any more, your life will not be as good. And you will not be able to return to the state of 'happiness' you thought you have in the past, because now you know...

So, you miss your friend! You miss your dancing/concert/traveling buddy, your miss your talks, the way she or he used to make you feel, the laughs, the joy, the security of him/her being there for you, the understanding of your deepest thoughts... you miss your little secrets and your inner jokes and gestures. Of course you may spend your time with other friends -who, indeed, care for you and will be there for you. But it's not the same...

For me, these special people make me feel warm in heart and happy and comfy! : ) Comfy to express my feelings, to talk about anything I want, to discuss my inner thoughts, share my biggest fears, admit my most ambitious dreams! The feeling of unraveling effortlessly and gregariously the different notes of my personality without being judged or condemned is priceless! And that's why it is hard when I or they have to leave.

 But what's the way forward?

I have read a quote on the internet saying 'Life doesn't give you the people you want, it gives you the people you need: to love you, to hate you, to make you, to break you and to make you the person you were meant to be.'  So, here you go...there is a reason why every departure happens... for a new circle to begin, a new story to unfold, a new lesson to be learnt!

But even if thousands of miles seperate you from your friend, this doesn't mean you will never hear from him/her again. Nowadays, this is up to you, both of you! Back in time, people were nostalgic about past memories but today...today we have technology! : ) Although we may miss those days when we could spend time with our friends under the same roof , nowadays we can see them virtually and we can keep in touch even on a daily basis! I switch on my laptop and I can give a call to Nina in Belgium, to Alex in Germany or to Nadia in Jordan! Even better, I could use my smart phone and call Preethi in India or DiChun in China before going to the office in the morning! Technology is amazing and it gives you the benefit of communicating on the spot! :)

So, it's not exactly nostalgia or longing what I feel about my remote friends,  as I could see them virtually everyday. It's not sadness what I feel, nor melancholia...it's this sweet feeling that make me smile when I see two girls laughing while eating a Krispy Cream Donut, when it happens to listen to a bossa nova song at my favourite pub or when I am wearing my brown riding boots... It's the blissfulness I feel when I raise my head from the laptop and look at the photos on the wall. Everybody is here...Sweet disposition. Saudade.