Be proactive, when in love

'Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own'.

How beautifully Rovert Anson Heinlein describes love, in his book Stranger in a Strange Land (1961). And how concisely he highlights the topic, which I would like to discuss today... what is the secret for a love to last? Is it realistic for a love to grow stronger day by day?

And I don't talk about the fairy-tale Disney love, I mean the realistic love in a realistic relationship.

I observe people around me falling in love, being happy, being content and then, being angry, disturbed...out of love.

Why? I ask myself. If two individuals have been lucky enough to experience mutual love, why and how could they let this flee?

Routine, some will say. Carreer responsibilities, others will insist. The list could be endless, but what could we do to prevent this? What could save a relationship from becoming rotten?

My response to this is proactivity!

Heinlein's quote shows that when our intimate other is happy, we are happy as well. Thus, we should think in advance! Will this action hurt my partner? Will that talk cause troubles as I don't really mean it? Am I just messing with his/her nerves?  Am I really willing to do something that may have irreversible consequences? 

Most importantly.. will he/she be happy? If our loved one is happy, this is mirrored back to us...

Their smile is our heaven! 

...or is it not?

A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.

My dear friend,

I am writing to you cause I feel you need a helping hand – even though I may be miles away...

It’s been days, now, that I am thinking of your sensitive heart and I am wondering what may have happened to you. I don’t know, but I won’t ask. I am just going to sit next to you, imaginarily, and tell you a story.

Once upon a time, there was a sweet girl with a happy heart named Katie. She was born happy and nature endowed her with kindness and affection. Growing up in an environment full of love and understanding, Katie realised that she could get easily hurt by people who were clumsy in their behaving... Nevertheless, she wanted to grow wiser; so she sailed away to a remote island. There, she met a lot of different people from diverse tribes and nations. She started learning habits from other cultures and her awareness of diversity increased.  She understood that people are very different and that many times one should make the effort and give the other person the chance to explain him or herself.

Everything was going well and Katie started feeling like home! But at that particular time, Katie got hurt from a person, whom she perceived as a friend. And this happens in life... But Katie had a sensitive heart and could not forget that incident. She started becoming less sociable; trying to focus only on her purpose of being in that island, that is, to become wiser. She needed a sign...something to make her happy again.

As Katie could not see any sign soon, she decided to leave the island. Before she was about to board the ship, that would bring her back to her motherland, she stopped for a moment to think all the good and bad memories she was taking with her, as lessons for life.

The battle of the sexes, Volume 1!

I named this post "Volume 1", as I know more will come regarding this subject!


Today, I just would like to post a quote I stumbled upon the web:

A woman came out of a man's rib,

Not from his feet to be walked on,

Not from his head to be superior over,

But from his side to be equal. 

Under his arm to be protected

& next to his heart to be loved.

This quote is attributed to the Hebrew Talmud.
Although a short parable, it captures exactly the female nature!!

Equal, protected and loved...succinct but full of meaning! : )


Have a nice day, everybody!

This is not a love story, it is a story about Love.

Once upon a time, all human feelings and qualities gathered in one corner of the world. When Boredom yawned the third time, Insanity suggested: "Let's play hide and seek!". Intrigue raised it’s eyebrow intrigued, and Curiosity without contain, asked: "Hide and seek? How do you play that?". Insanity explained that she will close her eyes and count to a million, while the rest will run to hide.

Enthusiasm danced enthusiastically together with Euphoria, while Happiness gave so many leaps that ended up convincing even Doubt. Only Apathy, who was never interested in anything, refused to participate in the game. Truth decided not to hide, since in the end it is always found; Pride thought it as a foolish game (it actually bothered her that the idea wasn't hers) and Cowardice didn't want to risk.

-One, two, three.... Insanity started to count. 

The first one to hide was Laziness, who let her self fall to the first rock on the way. Faith rose and hid in heaven and Envy hid in the shade of Triumph, who all by itself climbed to the top of the tallest tree.

Nobleness couldn't find quickly a good spot, because every spot it found was perfect for its friends:

A crystal clear lake for Beauty.

Cleft of the tree for Fear.

Butterfly wing for Sensuality.

A whiff of breeze for Liberty.

In the end, Nobleness hid in a sun ray.

Fairness and love

When I was a kid, I used to be very fair-minded. I used to base my relationships in justice, as I thought that is the best way to deal with people and situations. Innocent and pure at heart, as I was, I could not understand why individuals act in a non-fair way. For instance, I could not understand why my mother was spending only little amount of her time praising my good marks and so much of her time trying to help my brother to raise his marks.

One summer night, while I was in children' camp, my team leader and me had a very nice chat. During that conversation, I remember, she turned to me and said: "Margie, you spend too much time being fair and you forget about love". I was shocked! I couldn't believe that someone could perceive me as a non that loving person! In reality I knew I was caring and loving from inside, but after reflecting on her words, I could understand what she wanted to say to me. A whole new world appeared in front of me!

Love is discriminatory. One should not treat an acquaintance in the same way as a friend. One should not treat his/her significant other in the same way as someone else. Love forgives and love spoils. This is not necessarily good nor is bad. It is just the way it is... That night I realised that my preoccupation to be objective and fair did not allow me to treat the people I loved, with love! Which means that ultimately I was being unfair to them!

What I decided from that time was to be fair in the way I show my love to other people!  For my beloved ones I spend much more time/effort/attention than for acquaintances. I am more willing to do sacrifices for them, fight for them and I do forgive them more easily! :)

Of course, the circle of beloved ones is sacred...it is a two way process, in which you both receive and send back love. Undoubtedly, disappointments do exist. I do encounter people that let me down, but, on the other hand, my cute bunch of beloved ones have not! :) Don't they deserve a special treatment? I believe that the ones they do, they will not get spoiled; they will just appreciate. As I appreciate their love as well.

We have a set amount of energy and time everyday. May it be spent wisely.